Category Archives: about me

Saying Goodbye

I won’t use the word hate because it is a very strong word. Rather, I’ll use the word ‘dislike.’

I can’t say I dislike you because I like you, I really really like you… Every time you flaunt your bright red color and bright rays of light are turned on to you, the more I dislike you because you are taunting me and killing me softly with your oozing appeal. What is it about you? Is it the terrible heat that makes me crave for you? Is it when the kids are sleeping that I secretly open the ref and look for you? Why can’t you simply disappear from my life and leave me alone peacefully? Why do you have to remind me of your existence? The advertising executives are of no help. They are paid to brainstorm- and oh- they are mightily successful in doing just that. Produce a really bright idea after brainstorming for days… And what do I get? A more thoughtful (not insightful) advertisement luring me to like you again!

So today (for the nth time), I am going to dislike you for the right reasons. First, I have to let you go for my health. I don’t want my hubby to look for a madrasta the moment I’m gone because of sugar overdose (read: diabetes). Madrastas have a bad record of taking care of kids from another mother. Second, I have to let you go for my kids. My kids see me as their example. I don’t want them to copy this bad trait (yes I know, I’m a terrible mom). Third, you are really getting expensive for a past time (read: habit). Fourth, I hate goodbyes but this time- it is for real… No ifs, no buts… so to my dear ex-drink, all things have their endings. Please don’t cry- I am only one among the millions of your consumers. This won’t hurt your executives’ moolahs…

Sleep Deprivation

No, I am not sleep deprived because I have to lull my little ones to sleep. In fact, they are all soundly sleeping while I am typing in these words. The only sound I hear is the whirring of the AC and the clicking sound of the keys in my laptop. I wish I can say I am sleep deprived because Jojo wants me to carry him and dance around the house until he sleeps. I am sleep deprived because I cannot simply sleep if I don’t go to bed by 10 in the evening. How does that sound? I am now insomniac? My friends would be laughing at this. I swear I would be the last person in the their mind to ‘contract’ insomnia. I know- I use to catch up on any missed sleep the entire week. And here I am today- having trouble sleeping if I don’t go to bed by 10. It’s almost 11 and I don’t feel sleepy anymore. Blame it on reading other people’s blogs (interesting ones though!). So, am I really ‘that’ old to start suffering from insomnia?

*******************************
post script- here is the blog entry that started my reading marathon. Why is this article so true?! For all the women in the world- speak up! hehehe…

Twenty Five Years Later….

At three months

I’m kidding. It should read 35 years later….

It’s not bad after all to be called Manang or Ate. And here are 10 things I’ve learned on turning 35:

1. Your motto becomes “age is a state of the mind…”
2. You don’t have to be a genius to make a difference in the world- especially in the lives of your children…
3. A simple sorry is all it takes.
4. A kiss can instantly wipe the pain of a child who just fell down.
5. Unconditional love can be found within the walls of your home.
6. An A is an A and a B is a B. Don’t think too much because learning takes place in simple things.
7. Less is more.
8. Children are God’s greatest gifts.
9. Gifts are expensive (refer to number 8).
10. Moisturize. Moisturize. Moisturize.

This is going to be a blissful week!

For the first time in many weeks, I feel so rested on a Monday! Wish all Mondays will be like this. Before I dream on, I am reminding myself that I have a deadline to meet and will submit a … Continue reading

Sleeping Habits

I admit that next to food, I love to sleep- but that was during my student days Oh, how I miss those days. Today, experiencing a 7 hours uninterrupted sleep is already a luxury I can’t afford! Really- it’s a … Continue reading

Breastfeeding in Public

UNICEF Logo


About a year or two years ago, I had the chance to be a panelist in the thesis defense of some fourth year Nursing students. One of the paper I read was on the support women get when breastfeeding in the workplace. It was an interesting study because I am not very familiar with local laws supporting breastfeeding in the workplace or in public places such as malls.

The Department of Health has always been pushing for women to breastfeed their babies until at least six months. However, the number of women who exclusively breastfeed their babies is very low. UNICEF Philippines has provided some of these facts:

1. Eighty percent (80%) of children started breastfeeding within one day of birth BUT exclusive breastfeeding lasts only for for an average of 24 hours.

2. Mothers did not breeastfeed their babies because:

a. She does not have enough milk- 31%
b. She is working – 17%
c. Her nipples/breasts ache – 17%
d. Her child does not want to breastfeed – 11%
e. Her child is sick – 11%
f. She is sick – 9%
g. Other reasons

3. Well-off and better-educated mothers whose children were delivered by a health professional were less likely to breastfeed their children exclusively.

These statistics reveal that there is still so much work to be done in educating women about the importance of breastfeeding. A few months ago, I blogged about breastfeeding. I find it difficult to understand how women (with the exception of those who cannot physiologically produce milk) would choose not to breastfeed their children. In the Philippines, statistics would suggest that even women who are apparently well-educated on the benefits of breastfeeding would still opt to bottle-feed their babies. My hypotheses then are as follows:

1. There is not enough support for women in the workplace to continue breastfeeding. For instance, they are not provided rooms where they can express milk and store these in refrigerators. Mothers can take the milk in sterile packs or bottles on their way home, store it in their own refrigerators and instruct nannies to thaw it in time for the baby’s next feeding time.

2. Public places such as malls don’t have facilities where mothers can breastfeed their babies privately.

While I am holding on to my second hypothesis, SM mall is an exception.Around last year, we took the kids to a playroom at SM mall in Bacolod. Just around the corner, I was surprised that there was a breastfeeding room. Last month, I finally got to take a peek at the room and I was greeted by a nurse who smilingly inquired if I want to breastfeed my baby. Jojo was full so I said no. I noticed how the room look very friendly and there was a small bed where you can sit or lie down with the baby. I wish all malls are like SM. However, I noticed that there is only one room for the entire SM building. If you happen to visit SM Bacolod, it’s spacious and covers two whole city blocks. Despite this, I am impressed by the management of SM and their mother and baby-friendly policy.

I am writing about public places having facilities for breastfeeding moms because I got to experience breastfeeding my children in public places such as malls. While I can just go back to the parking lot and breastfeed the baby inside the vehicle, there are instances where babies can get really loud and the parking lot is at the opposite end of the building. I have to do it as discreetly as possible and it is at this point that I wish there are rooms exclusive for breastfeeding moms.

How about you, will you advocate for breastfeeding rooms in the workplace and public places?

Source of Logo: UNICEF (2010)

Manang…. at 34

Manang is a Filipino word for a mature woman, older lady. As a sign of respect, the young ones call the ‘elderly’ women Manang. In the Philippines, it is not uncommon for families to teach younger siblings to call their elder sisters Manang. It resonates respect for the elderly. In some cases, it can also be used negatively for women who wear extra long skirts matched with long sleeves (if you get my picture)- as in, you are too manang!. it is also used to replace the more formal Ma’am for women who don’t look matronly. In other words, those who look ordinary looking and are older are called Manang.

Just this morning, I was called Manang by a teller boy who must be 10  years younger. It was the second time to be called that- one with a nanny in Danielle’s ballet school a week or two ago and then today. Because in our family, I was called by my nickname, not by the word Manang or its equivalent in tagalog- Ate, I find it surprising to be called exactly that. My parents wanted to erase the generation gap and thought that not teaching my younger siblings would make all of us equal. Well- they were right in that aspect and it never was an issue not to be called by a respectful prefix. However, to be called by the outside world (i.e. the younger strangers) as Manang for the first time in my entire life is another thing.

After Danielle and I visited the bank, I looked at myself in a mirror (which I rarely do) and began to scrutinized my face. I couldn’t believe that I would be called – an old ordinary looking woman!  I still couldn’t accept the fact that in my early thirties I am beginning to look ( at least in the eyes of the teller boy and the yaya/nanny) as old and ordinary looking. I don’t mind being called as ordinary looking but to be seen as old! I thought all along that to be labeled as old would be very trivial- but I was wrong. I am really old- and it’s beginning to show- and I was hurt!

After nursing my bruised ego and coming into terms with reality, I remembered how I always say to myself that the most beautiful people are those who with the passing of the years and with wrinkles to show still remain beautiful because of the life they have lived.

Now that I remembered…. I am no longer irked by the teller boy nor the yaya… I’m actually laughing at myself as I am typing these words! So— to aging, “bah, hambug!”

Oh, before I end, here’s a beautiful quote I saw in the internet:

“There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.”

–Sophia Loren

Mothering and Relationships

” A mother holds her children’s hand for a while…but their hearts forever.”- Anon.

This is one of my favorite quotation on motherhood.. This phrase is so true now that my siblings and I are leaving our childhood home one by one. I looked at my little kids and can’t imagine how those little feet running around the house, the constant squabbling over a single toy, the need for attention all at once could be a memory in a number of years from now. I wonder how my own Mom is dealing with her children leaving home. Doesn’t she miss our noise, laughter, screaming and yes- fighting too? When I went home six months ago, I was surprised by how sad our house looks like. Just like my parents, the house has grown ‘old’ too.  Gone are the noise and the ‘busyness’ of the home. And I thought of my mother- what is she thinking now that almost all of her children are starting their own families?

I am still in the early phase of motherhood and I am reflecting on how my children would remember me when they have their own families. Would they remember how busy I am with work? or would they remember the time I spent bathing, taking care and playing with them? I am sure any mother- whether a full time or part time career mom, or a full time stay at home mom- loves her children deeply. I think that is the most important thing in life– that we love our children whatever our situation is.

Now when I hold my kids (and they could be very demanding- just imagine three kids spaced so shortly), I try to savor the moment and remember how each hug feels like. Sooner, the noise (which could be ear splitting at times), and the demands would be gone… I am writing this thoughts down so I won’t forget that I want my children to leave home with happy memories. I just realized that life could pass by so quickly. Last week, we had dinner with an old family friend who are like parents to me and my hubby. I look at them and remember how they looked like when I was younger and though how life could go by so fast. And I realized that what matter most in life is not how much money you made, the degrees or the house. While all these are important while we are supporting the needs of our children, in the bigger view of things- they are just that- means of support but not the meat of life. What is most important is the relationship we have of people. The relationship we have of our old friends, our parents and most importantly of our own child(ren)… So, my new goal right now is to simply nurture relationships while I still have time.

Doing Freelance Work While Staying at Home

A few years ago when I had Danielle, J. bought me my own laptop just so I won’t get bored staying at home and at the same time allow me the opportunity to work online and stay at home. It wasn’t long before I returned to work and the laptop became a companion in presenting powerpoint lectures. I would never have thought that I would do freelance work full time in the years that would follow. Now, I am a full time freelancer and a stay at home mom.

So, what are the benefits of staying at home and working online?

1.   Having a command of your time.

This is one attractive benefit of being a freelancer. Even if you have an online ‘employer,’ you get to choose your projects, your deadline and the amount of time you will devote on a project.

2.  Being able to stay with the kids while earning

Notice that I used the word ‘stay’ instead of ‘taking care of the kids’ while earning at home. It’s a different story though for pure stay at home moms who choose to personally take care of the kids. Me- I’m  a hybrid between this kind of mom and the mom who is around while the kids play or are being taken cared of by a nanny. I divide my time in taking care of the kids and working. For instance, I work when the kids sleep or after I have given them a bath, dress them up or feed them. I’m off to worklandia once they are full or are engaged in play or educational activities.

3.   Being able to work in your ‘house clothes’

Because I have never been a fashionista, the issue of saving the clothing allowance while working at home does not hold true. Of course, I did spend some money on clothes while working in the ‘real’ world, but the savings on this part is very minimal. However, I relish the idea that I get to work in shabby clothing!

4.   Earning more than I get from my day job

Yes, the truth is I earn more from my freelance job than my day job. Thanks to globalisation and the www- we can offer our talents and expertise online to oversea employees.

What are the not so positive aspects of my freelance work?

1.   Freelance is long hard work.

There is a common circulating misconception that because freelancers own their time, they could do as they wish. The opposite is true. When I am swamped with work and deadlines, I get to work even until the wee hours of the morning. Or in reverse- I sleep early with the kids and wake up at dawn to catch a deadline. Sometimes, I have to spend days with little sleep (but I make up on sleep deprivation the next week). In times like this, I see to it that I still have personal time with the kids and hence- I have to work extra hard when they are asleep or playing.

2.  Freelancing could be isolating

Imagine not having bosses around nor coworkers to chat the time away. Yes, it could be isolating- but thanks to facebook, I could connect with most of my friends.

3.   Freelancing could be fattening

This is the worst consequence of sitting in front of the computer almost the whole day!

To other moms thinking about freelancing, you could evaluate the pros and cons of working at home. in the end, what is important is you are happy with how you spend your time.

I grew up on Batibot

I’m one of the generation who breath and live on Batibot. I would remember coming home quickly just in time for my afternoon dose of Batibot. It was also a time where internet has never been heard of, let alone the word ‘texting.’ My parents also were not yet introduced to the issue of questioning media as a form of learning instruction for kids. They would just allow me and my little siblings to watch Batibot. It was educational. I learned so many things from the show. I presumed that my siblings learned too. We were allowed to only watch a handful of shows, Batibot including. It was also a time where kids were more active. We had no internet and so we played with real persons, played patentero, bato-lata, chinese garter a and a host of games on the streets.

Today, Batibot is gone.

There are no more shows of this kind in Philippine television. I believe it has to do with the networks favoring advertisements and the cash it generates than being of service to the Filipino children and feeding them with educational shows. In place are imported cartoons that fail to promote Filipino values or at least instill in children a love of one’s country. While some of these shows do have moral values, they can’t compare with the power that a show like Batibot could have on once upon a time children like me.

I limit the television time of my children. But I do wish that one day shows like Batibot would once again grace our television.